CAN THE MUSIC SAVE YOUR MORTAL SOUL?

Vacation

2009-07-11T17:03:00.000-04:00

So no posts for a couple weeks. Be back on the 25th.

Fire on the moun, run boys, run... the devil's in the house of the risin' sun!

2009-06-30T09:35:00.004-04:00

Whoever invented apple juice sucks. I drank a whole friggin' glass and now I'm thirsty. Wasn't thirty before. Just wanted some apple juice. Johnny Appleseed blows.

Another food wonder: Why is it that sausages come in packages of six and the buns in packages of eight? It's a fucking conspiracy. I refuse to buy more sausages until the last two buns are stale and green and I have to throw them away. Assholes. Just give me two more sausages or two less buns. Preferably two more sausages.

You may want to close your eyes for this next one. The new band Chickenfoot are comparing themselves to Led Zeppelin. Really? Led Zep has more legendary singles than these fuckers have fans. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying me some Chickenfoot. But ease on the Led Zep comparisons. They're just setting themselves up for failure on that one.

"Living Loving Maid" is my Led Zep song of the week. It's hot shit.

And fuck Transformers. It's retarded. It's like Power Rangers for grown ups. But as long as we're on this topic. I want to make sure I put it out there that Kimberly the Pink Power Ranger was my childhood soulmate. Until the Green Ranger showed up. Cock blockin' prick.

Speaking of pricks, who even likes this Perez Hilton guy? I mean who the fuck is he anyway? Bring back any of the celebs that have died in the past week and take that fucker away. Please? I honestly haven't met a single person who has said, "You know, I kinda like that Perez Hilton guy." And they're lucky cause they might end up on the floor with or without a full set of teeth.

And in no way am I condoning violence. I'm just saying. If there's a final war between good and Perez Hilton, y'all know which side I'm on.

Anyway, more on food. I just ate half a bagel with fat free cream cheese. Only problem is the fat free has an anti-taste good problem. It's gross. Like eating soggy plastic.

Here's a thank you to all the dumbasses out there who don't know that taking more than the doctor recommended dose of Nyquil may cause liver failure. It could be pulled from the market soon thanks to you. I like how we are possibly living to see the day when you can buy cigarettes, guns, Craigslist prostitutes, and all sorts of other shit, but you can't buy medicine that will help your ass sleep when you have a fever.

This one is one of my favorite news stories of the week. That South Carolina governor went to Jesus boot camp after his affair. No shit. His "spiritual adviser" (which I don't understand why people need someone else to tell them what they believe) pretty much blamed his affair with Argentine reporter Maria Capur on "the Darkness."

I wish I could use that one if I did something stupid. Sorry I robbed that bank, the Darkness made me do it. Can I keep the money?

Everybody wants to be naked and famous...

2009-06-29T10:05:00.005-04:00

Food Porn 2: Powdered Suga

We are family...

2009-06-28T10:47:00.002-04:00

My last few blogs have been rather boring. This one may or may not be an exception. But any time Sister Sledge is in the house, it usually means white people will love what's up.

Okay.

I'm tired of hearing about Michael Jackson now. It was only a matter of time. However, the best thing to come out of this whole deal is that MTV and VH1 actually played music videos.

Today is the first day of summer when I have officially forgotten what day it is. And I don't care to know. Why? Cause I ain't got shit to do. Well, I have shit to do. But I have all god damn summer to do it. Hurrah.

So, summer vacation is almost here and I'm freakin' excited as hell about visiting Boston. Sam Adams, here I come! Then it's Harry Potter in IMAX up in Providence. And I kinda want to visit the The Station in West Warwick where Great White played before it burned down. I was in Rhode Island shortly after it happened, but never visited. It was like a zoo, but I kind of want to visit now.

I love champagne. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Yesterday's pool experience turned out to be an awesome redneck version of your favorite MTV show. We have these people who are at the pool every time we go and they take up half the pool area like they own the joint (only to actually use half of it). It's a group of we-don't-know-how-many with we-don't-know-how-many kids. And we just sit there trying to figure out who belongs to who.

My theory is that they're a recently-out-of-jail commune. They had a huge gangbang and now they don't know whose kid is belongs to who. In yesterday's episode I like to call "Poolside Yo-Momma Drama Pt. 1," some drunk dude got punch-slapped by some chick twice and he kept yelling at her to do it again. When I say yelling I meant like the kinda shit that goes down at Mudvayne concerts.

Well after the first round, he left and was possibly murdered (cliffhangers are what make you keep coming back). And this was all in front of those who's-whose kids. Strange, strange shit.

Some people need to be sterilized when they begin to become a detriment to society.

Chad Johnson aka Ocho Cinco made me laugh this morning for calling out Shawne Merriman of my San Diego Chargers. Let's get this straight for those who don't know who these two are. Chad Johnson, who no one likes, is a tall twig who has gold teeth. Shawne Merriman is comparable to a god damn rhinoceros (I spelled it right the first try). His neck is like a friggin' redwood. And Chad Johnson wants to fight him in a boxing match. All I gotta say is, televise this, please!

I've started writing a story that is actually worth my time to finish and I'm excited. This story got my mind abrewin'. I kind of know where I want to go with it, but it will involve a surprise birth, the Vatican, a "miracle", and a cracked skull. I'm undecided on the cracked skull. We'll see when we get there. But there will be blood. That's the kind of cool thing about being a writer. You control who goes and who knows. It's kind of creepy though.

I saw My Sister's Keeper yesterday. I was the only man in attendance. But I actually thought it was pretty good. Rather depressing. My wife told me there was a different ending in the book and I think I would have liked that one better.

The Confed Finals are on today and I'm freakin' ready. My prediction: Chargers win the Super Bowl.

Keep on keeping on until you're gone...

2009-06-26T17:18:00.004-04:00

The following is from Chuck Klosterman's Killing Yourself to Live. I absolutely love his writing. He's a semi-self-loathing, sarcastic, hilarious asshole. But he is extremely contemplative about life and music and he doesn't take himself too seriously. The book is about his journey across the United States to find a bunch of different places where musicians have died.

I was going to post a quote or two about the book at some point because its just so freakin' awesome, but now I think is a good time. I don't even think I need to go on and on explaining to you what it means because it speaks for itself. By all means let me know what you think because this is a great topic.

Here we go:

Death is a part of life. Generally, its the shortest part of life, usually occurring near the end. However, this is not necessarily true for rock stars; sometimes rock stars don't start living until they die. I want to understand why that is.

Dying is the only thing that guarantees a rock star will have a legacy that stretches beyond temporary relevance.

--------

If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes.

Anytime I'm in a foreign place with lots of strangers who all share an identical (yet completely unrelated) purpose, I start to think I am in purgatory. For as long as I can remember, I've had this theory, because life on Earth seems to have all the purgatorial qualities that were once described to me by nuns.

It's almost like we're all Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense, but nobody on "earth" has figured it out yet, even though it will suddenly seem obvious in the end. Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were in a previous existence; for example, infants who die from SIDS were actually great people when they were alive "for real", so they get to go to heaven after a mere five minutes here in purgatory...

This becomes increasingly clear in an airport. It is like a warehouse full of dead people rushing around from gate to gate to gate that they will, if they are lucky, die in a plane crash and leave the purgatory hell that is the airport.

--------

It's normal for someone's death to change how we recall what a celebrity was like, but the situation with [Kurt] Cobain is more complex; this is a situation in which a celebrity died, and many private citizens -- including countless individuals who were wholly unconnected to Kurt or Seattle or grunge or even popular music -- suddenly chose to remember themselves in a completely different way. Kurt Cobain didn't need to die in order to get integrity, because he already had it. However, his dying seemed to give total strangers a sense of integrity they had never wanted while he was alive.

And to answer that question as well, because I do the same thing Chuck does when I'm on an airplane:

If I could choose the song I am listen to when I die (assuming I had the ability to choose what I was listening to and the time it would take for me to die would be precisely 3 minutes and 14 seconds) it would be "Santa Monica" by Everclear.

I'm the underdog, live my life on a lullaby...

2009-06-24T17:00:00.001-04:00

The U.S. nation soccer team just beat Spain, the #1 team in the world, 2-0. The U.S. is now in the Confederations Cup final for the first time ever and will play Brazil or South Africa. Jozy Altidore is gonna be a GREAT player. He's only 19, scored the game winner, and had a hell of a game.

We probably still don't stand a chance when it comes to the World Cup next year. But it's nice to finally see the U.S. soccer team play without their heads in their asses. Go USA!

Excellence is my presence, never tense...

2009-06-24T09:41:00.001-04:00

Victory or Death!

Whoever says McDonald's is an evil corporation is full of shit. They gave me two free apple pies on Sunday.

Here's the story.

So I'm eating the second of my delicious, crispy yet gooey (and remember the best part -- free) McDonald's apple pies on the beach when the wind suddenly picks up. I'm looking behind me and see at large, white tent. It's going up and down for some reason, that's funny. Except it wan't just going up and down. It was was headed toward the ocean with a target on my face.

A big fucking tent. My face.

I tell my wife watch out. She gets up and watches. I think about getting up, but I got an apple pie in my hand. Fuck that. So what do I decide to do?

I decide to stiff arm a beach tent coming at my at 15 miles per hour. Luckily it was a LaDanian Tomlinson style stiff arm, so it was pretty amazing. The tent foolishly ran into my perfect LT stiffarm, wobbled over my head, and ended up in the ocean. And to cut a short story even shorter, the apple pie ended up in my stomach.

The Moral: Victory tastes like cinnamon.

You would think my love was really something good, baby if I could...

2009-06-16T12:31:00.007-04:00

Have you ever heard any of these?

You're wasting your vote.
A vote for him is a vote for them.
Your chances of winning are none.
It's more American to vote for either of the two-parties.

Then you probably vote third party, but I'm not even gonna argue against these because it's pure bullshit. I just have one question. Why is this happening?

Voter Turnout:
2008 - 56.8%
2006 - 37.1%
2004 - 55.3%
2002 - 37.0%
2000 - 51.3%

People want change, but at the same time they're afraid of it. So they take someone from the party that isn't ruling at the time, slap change on the bastard, and hope for dear life that a miracle happens.

So here's how I feel about this change and hope slogan bullshit. And both Obama and Bush used it, so I'm not just shitting on Obama here. The following is from Tommy Boy.

Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.

Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted? [chuckles until he sees that Ted is not laughing too]

Ted Nelson, Customer: [impatiently] What's your point?

Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?

Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time.

I've gotta put my whole world in your hands...

2009-06-15T08:51:00.008-04:00

It looks like if you're like me and you don't have health insurance, you will be forced to get some if you can "afford" it. Who knows what they mean by "affordable."

So this is basically me waving bye-bye-bye to my save-save-savings. Terrific. Why is it, when we're pissed off at the government, we seem to give it more shit to do? How about, I don't know, less?

Wait, I know why. Cause they do such a great job with education, the economy, and war. Right?

And when I make my money, I'll send it back to you...

Somedays I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock'N Roll...

2009-06-12T12:33:00.004-04:00

Mindsay Revisited:

Why is Mark Knopfler such a badass?* If I didn't know any better I would worship him. I decided today that I want to be the manager of The Back-By-Popular-Demand Fantasy Band that is Eric Clapton on lead guitar, Mark Knopfler on back-up guitar, Dave Grohl on drums, Flea on bass, and Robert Plant on lead vocals. And just for fun, why not resurrect Freddie Mercury and put him on back-up vocals? Imagine the fan base! And not to mention to splurgerific music that would come from those super-hounds of rock and roll. They would most likely, however, break up faster than you could say The Back-By-Popular-Demand Fantasy Band.

And since I'm flirting with idealism, why not keep this going? You know who would make a great president? Tiger Woods. He is currently 33, therefore, by the 2012 election, he will be 36. Also, by then, he will have won the most majors in PGA history (he only needs 5).

Ok, so. The guy is Chinese, Thai, Black, White, and Native American. I mean, Obama ain't got shit on that. Therefore, he's got the black vote. He is 33, so he would get the know-it-all college voters. He plays golf, so he will carry the old and filthy-rich voters. He's from California, so he basically wins. He's got a hot, blonde wife, so he has the male vote. And he has adorable, multicultural kids, so he's got the female vote too.** He's a Buddhist, but nobody knows that. He's got the money from winning a freakin' ton of tournaments and getting dozens of endorsements. Better yet, Frosted Flakes would become the official cereal of the United States. And I'm cool with that.

And you know who would be a perfect running mate? My 8th grade Social Studies and English teacher, Mr. Bacher.*** "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid." That is if he is still alive.

Now, Mr. Woods and Bacher's Cabinet would also be a Dream Team with Willie Nelson, Don King, Richard Pryor, Al Capone, Chuck Berry, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. heading up the most important positions.****

The economy? Well, that would have to go through a severe change involving the ocean. The ocean? Yes, the ocean. What does the ocean have that could be useful? Salt. Build thousands of factories on the Atlantic and Pacific coastlines (we already have this technology) and replace the gold in Fort Knox with salt. And since we were the first to change the source of currency in the world, we'd be freakin' rich (not that we aren't already). And not only that, there would be no more water shortages and it would prevent the slowly rising sea levels from engulfing New Orleans and Florida (not that they're really worth saving anyway but hey, I'm a nice guy) due to global warming. I mean, salt is precious, and its good on anything corn. See, the world is happy.*****

And it all begins with Mark Knopfler. Here is how he created the world:

* Warning: This quickly turned into an unfortunate slippery slope concieved from my stream-of-conscience morning boredom. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies if, for any reasons, you hate Tiger Woods, Tony the Tiger (shame on you), Martin Luther King Jr., Mr. Bacher, Floridians, Willie Nelson, Don King, Richard Pryor, Al Capone, Chuck Berry, or New Orleanians (?). But you must note that this is fiction. Don't read too much into it. If all else fails, and you find yourself dreaming of a Tiger Woods dictatorship, you may always blame George W. Bush.

** Why is it that white females who marry white males want black kids?

*** I say Social Studies only because, for some reason, people get pissed if you say History. Yeah, makes no sense to me either.

**** Is it just me or does Woods & Bacher sound like a Tux Rental Shop?

***** Unless it is true that we will all die December 21, 2012. (And Mel Gibson and The Smashing Pumpkins think we will die, so it must be true.)

It was acceptable in the 80's...

2009-06-10T07:32:00.008-04:00

People say the 90's was like a really long hangover after the 80's. I think that's bullcrap. The 90's was the fuckin' party. The 80's was the pre-game. The only thing the 80's were good for was giving birth to those who made the 90's badass as hell.

And The Wonder Years.

Whatever-we're-calling-the-2000's have just sucked. We've had what, bands with numbers and exclamation marks in their names and shit? No. We're in the hangover ladies and gentlemen. And hopefully it ends soon. Please, God let it end soon.

I mean, really. What bands that came out in the last nine years that will be considered classic in the future? Linkin Park came out in 2000. But they're horribly overrated now. They get classic status because Hybrid Theory was freakin' amazing. I still love "In the End." There's also Okay Colplay. I'll give you that. Even though I can't stand 'em. Gnarls Barkley had a good first album, but far from a classic band.

And speaking of hangovers, The Hangover was pretty good. Superbad was better, but at least it wasn't bucktarded like some of the other comedy movies to come out recently. And yes, I said bucktarded. I can't stand that short guy on So You Think You Can Dance. "That's buuuuck." He's like a fuckin' Pokémon, that's all he says.

Stu: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan: It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating in an airplane.
Phil: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, too.
Alan: Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane... Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!

And I can help but think rap is like 80's. Shits and giggles, baby.

Shits and giggles.

Can the music save your mortal soul?

2009-06-09T07:23:00.007-04:00

I read a great post on the blog I've Got Soul about why we listen to sad music when we're sad. And she was essentially right.

A sad song carries our soul along with the grieving tune. It takes our sorrows into their mellow lyrics and mends our sadness. Okay, I was just being overly melodramatic.

So I think, we listen to sad songs when we're sad is because the sad music, defines our feelings.

I think she's right when she says it defines our feelings because music, whether its happy or sad or contemplative, it always defines the human experience. Music is always about this experience, so it always has the chance to be about 'me'. We listen to sad music because it helps us understand pain and sorrow. We listen to happy music because it amplifies that experience.

The music defines our feelings because it is always so metaphorical. It can usually be about anything. This is why I always include music in my blogs. So to answer the question "Can the music save your mortal soul?"

Probably... But I guess we'll just have to see, won't we?

Anyway, I have another list of the best songs of all time. Yes, I am going there. Here are what I believe to be the 99 greatest songs ever written, performed, blah blah blah. Now, there were some basic guidelines. The song actually had to be good, meaning no bullshit, insignificant off-bands or musicians. Some I chose because they had great significance in their genre, in history, or because it had a badass guitar riff. There really isn't much that separates #30 and #50 except for the fact that at this moment, I seem (for some reason) to prefer one over the other.

I am simply doing this because I do not have work today and I am bored. So read on. Get pissed at my list. Ask me why Tool isn't on it. Actually, don't. You may, however, ask me why "Hotel California" is not on the list. I'll just answer it now:

Its because I think its the most overrated piece of crap song of all time. "Tequila Sunrise" and "Take It Easy" are way better.

I also only included at most two songs from each artist to prevent Queen and Led Zeppelin from taking over 20-60. And believe it or not, I actually have some rap in there. I did one of these on a different blog a while back and now its looks different. I just think its kind of funny to see how these things change. Note: These are not necessarily my favorite songs. That list would be totally different.

American Pie [Don McLean]
Telegraph Road [Dire Straits]
Stairway to Heaven [Led Zeppelin]
Layla [Derek and the Dominoes]
Imagine [John Lennon]
Bohemian Rhapsody [Queen]
Like A Rolling Stone [Bob Dylan
Smells Like Teen Spirit [Nirvana]
One [U2]
You Can't Always Get What You Want [The Rolling Stones]
Good Vibrations [The Beach Boys]
Tears in Heaven [Eric Clapton]
My Way [Frank Sinatra]
Don't Stop Believing [Journey]
One Love [Bob Marley]
Somewhere Over the Rainbow [Israel Kamakawiwo'ole]
No Rain [Blind Melon]
Everyday [Buddy Holly]
Kashmir [Led Zeppelin]
Sweet Child O' Mine [Guns N' Roses]
Losing My Religion [R.E.M.]
Baba O'Riley [The Who]
Freebird [Lynyrd Skynyrd]
Voodoo Child (Slight Return) [Jimi Hendrix]
Glycerine [Bush]
Bittersweet Symphony [The Verve]
One Headlight [The Wallflowers]
Mr. Tambourine Man [The Byrds]
Lightning Crashes [Live]
Proud Mary [Creedence Clearwater Revival]
Crash Into Me [Dave Matthews Band]
Tequila Sunrise [The Eagles]
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) [Green Day]
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For [U2]
Redemption Song [Bob Marley and the Wailers]
You Shook Me All Night Long [AC/DC]
Running On Empty [Jackson Browne]
Landslide [Fleetwood Mac]
Jeremy [Pearl Jam]
Under Pressure [Queen]
You Were Meant For Me [Jewel]
I Walk The Line [Johnny Cash]
Under the Bridge [The Red Hot Chili Peppers]
Born To Run [Bruce Springsteen]
Lola [The Kinks]
The Times They Are A-Changin' [Bob Dylan]
All Along the Watchtower [Jimi Hendrix]
Blinded by the Light [Manfred Mann's Earth Band]
Ain't No Mountain High Enough [Marvin Gaye]
No Leaf Clover [Metallica]
Billie Jean [Michael Jackson]
About A Girl [Nirvana]
Wonderwall [Oasis]
Piano Man [Bill Joel]
Yellow Ledbetter [Pearl Jam]
Enter Sandman [Metallica]
London Calling [The Clash]
Blue Sky [The Allman Brothers Band]
December [Collective Soul]
Everlong [The Foo Fighters]
Fortunate Son [Creedence Clearwater Revival]
Changes [David Bowie]
Smoke on the Water [Deep Purple]
Listen to the Music [The Doobie Brothers]
Walk This Way [Aerosmith featuring Run DMC]
Outside [Staind]
I Will Remember You [Sarah McLachlan]
Loser [Beck]
Puff the Magic Dragon [Peter Paul Mary]
In the Air Tonight [Phil Collins]
Every Breath You Take [The Police]
Crazy [Gnarls Barkley]
Creep [Radiohead]
Put Your Lights On [Santana featuring Everlast]
Tonight, Tonight [The Smashing Pumpkins]
The Joker [Steve Miller Band]
Superstition [Stevie Wonder]
Fields of Gold [Sting]
Interstate Love Song [Stone Temple Pilots]
Changes [Tupac Shakur]
These Are the Days [10,000 Maniacs]
Brown Eyed Girl [Van Morrison]
Free Fallin' [Tom Petty]
Joy to the World [Three Dog Night]
Mrs. Robinson [Simon and Garfunkle]
War Pigs/Luke's Wall [Black Sabbath]
In The End [Linkin Park]
Little Red Corvette [Prince]
Funeral For A Friend (Love Lies Bleeding) [Elton John]
Champagne Supernova [Oasis]
Man In Black [Johnny Cash]
Sunshine Of Your Love [Cream]
Sultans of Swing [Dire Straits]
Candle in the Wind [Elton John]
The Way I Am [Eminem]
Everything is Everything [Lauryn Hill]
White Wedding [Billy Idol]
Livin' on a Prayer [Bon Jovi]
Wish You Were Here [Pink Floyd]

Welcome to a generation spent, do do do do-do-do...

2009-06-08T20:04:00.002-04:00

I found my topic for the day. I went on the Cabarrus County Schools website and read this by Superintendent Barry Shepherd. This guy is freakin' awesome:

Proposed State Cuts will Affect CCS Students
Thursday, June 4, 2009

Barry Shepherd warns that the state's proposed education budget will have a negative impact on the district's 28,000 students.

"We understand that our state lawmakers have a huge task before them, and we understand that these are hard decisions, but it's our responsibility as educators to be advocates for our students," said Shepherd.

Although a state budget has not been finalized, some estimates place proposed cuts to education at the $1 billion mark. Cuts totaling that amount could result in Cabarrus County Schools (CCS) releasing more than 100 teachers, severely reducing funding for programs and services designed to assist at-risk students and limiting the number of textbooks the district would purchase.

"There's no doubt in my mind that Cabarrus County Schools students will have a very different educational experience next school year if the proposed cuts are indeed implemented," Shepherd added. "We have spent a great deal of time this school year dealing with the impact of the budget cuts made during the course of the year. It will be even more difficult to begin a new school year operating with even less."

Shepherd continued, "We understand the current economic situation. We're all being asked to do more with less, but the proposed cuts would be devastating for our district. It would set student achievement back."

Already this school year, CCS has returned funds to the state on three occasions, most recently, returning approximately $975,000 in May. Before that, the district returned $1.1 million to the state in December and $1.3 million in September because student enrollment was lower than initial projections.

Additionally, the district notified 125 employees that based on the state budget projections, their positions may not be funded for the coming school year.

A number of educational organizations across the state have been encouraging parents, school district employees and other concerned citizens to contact their state lawmakers to let them know how they feel these proposed cuts would affect their school systems.

Shepherd echoes their pleas to the community to speak out. "Now is definitely the time to let their voices be heard. Our children need us to speak out on their behalf."

Refer to the information below to contact North Carolina state representatives.

STATE GOVERNMENT
www.governor.state.nc.us
www.ncga.state.nc.us

Governor Beverly Perdue
Office of the Governor
20301 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, N.C. 27603
800-662-7952

Lt. Governor Walter Dalton
Hawkins-Hartness House
310 North Blount Street
Raleigh, N.C. 27603
919-733-7350

State Senator Fletcher L. Hartsell, Jr.
North Carolina Senate
300 N. Salisbury Street, Room 518
Raleigh, NC 27603-5925
(919) 733-7223
Email: Fletcher.Hartsell@ncleg.net

State Representative Jeffrey (Jeff) L. Barnhart
North Carolina House of Representatives
300 N. Salisbury Street, Room 608
Raleigh, NC 27603-5925
919-715-2009
Email: Jeff.Barnhart@ncleg.net

State Representative Linda P. Johnson
North Carolina House of Representatives
16 W. Jones Street, Room 1006
Raleigh, NC 27601-1096
919-733-5861
Email: Linda.Johnson2@ncleg.net

It's nice to see someone who doesn't have their head up their ass. Someone who realizes that the level of education these kids are getting is being lowered to a level that we haven't seen in a long, long time.

I am definitely writing to my congressmen and congresswomen today.

Charlie Winston - Generation Spent

Looking out at the emptiness of faces
Makes me wonder what a wonder world this is
IS THIS
Another generation lost in the darkness?
Everybody is someone else's
OPINION

I don't wanna be a victim of this culture
More prey for a people to dispose of
Anytime I try and come to some conclusion
I'm only faced with confusion
Confusion

Welcome to a generation spent!
Do do do do do-do-do
We're all dead and spent

Everybody's disillusioned with religion
No one really wants to talk about or question God
You're only someone if you're seen on television
I would love to sit back and turn the whole world off!

Cause I don't wanna be the victim of our culture
Giving money to a people I'm ashamed of
I'm happiest when reality is dreamed up
To socialize is to compromise myself!

Welcome to a generation spent!
Do do do do do-do-do
We're all dead and spent

The wild night is calling...

2009-06-07T16:00:00.002-04:00

So I have a new favorite website, Texts from Last Night. That shit is hilarious.

And if you don't know, now you know...

2009-06-06T20:32:00.010-04:00

What does the 'D' in D-Day stand for?

Nothing, really. The 'D' is a variable for the day of the attack on Normandy beach, June 6th, 1944. So its basically Day-Day. Kind of like H-Hour. So, if you don't know, now you know.

And Obama's stock is rising for calling out Iran's president. I substituted for an English class on Thursday. The kids were reading about the Holocaust and I got the infamous, "Why do we have to know this?" gig. Sadly, I had to respond, "Because some people are ignorant, and don't think it ever happened."

They were hushed mighty quick and were rather disgusted that people would say something like that.

I watched Saving Private Ryan today. I had seen the beginning sequence like 50 times, but never the whole movie. All I have to say is that it is amazing. Jeremy Davies' character is one of my favorite characters of all time. He's simply brilliant.

I still think Everything Is Illuminated is the best Holocaust/World War 2 movie out there. Instead of the blood and gore, the movie (and novel) focuses on the haunting memories of the war and how it has affected everything we know about today. It's a great modern take on something that seems to have been ages ago.

"I have reflected many times upon our rigid search. It has shown me that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always along the side of us, on the inside, looking out. Like you say, inside out. Jonathan, in this way, I will always be along the side of your life. And you will always be along the side of mine."
- Jonathan Safran Foer

The quote above and the title of the book were inspired by this quote from Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

"In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine"

Memories are important. Even the worst of them, just as the worst events of history are important. World War 2 and the Holocaust are among my favorite subjects to teach, because there is so much to learn. So much to fix. It's only been 65 years. That's not even a lifetime.

Oh, I... oh, I'm still alive...

2009-06-05T09:49:00.011-04:00

We've got another LOST mystery --

Okay, so this whole missing French airplane stuff is turning into a really freaky LOST episode. First a plane just disappears. Then they say the plane broke in half in the air. A couple days ago they supposedly found the wreckage. But then it turns out that the wreckage ain't from the plane.

All this is leading me to believe they're not dead. They're on an freaky ancient island inhabited with polar bears, "others," and smoke monsters. I told my wife not to believe that the wreckage was from the plane. Charles Widmore is up to something.

That being said, I hope they do find all of them alive. We could definitely use another Hudson River story.

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I saw this on Tess' Mindsay blog. I think its the coolest thing ever. Free Hugs Campaign:

I bought a travel book on Boston and I read about how many people died in the Boston Massacre and I couldn't help but laugh. Five. Since when was five people a massacre? More people probably died from tuberculosis in a single hour on that day. But those were the days, those were the times. Nowadays, you kill five thousand people and we won't do anything.

From a "Massacre" to a Massacre, I was disappointed to see such little talk about the Tiananmen Square Massacre here in America. While everyone including me was all over Obama's speech in the Middle East, people in China were holding candle light vigil for those who died. I was talking to my friend who has been in China for over a year and he was telling me that the Chinese government blocked Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, and almost all social networking sites yesterday and the few days leading up to it.

Even though Obama made a great speech yesterday, I think it would have been better to say something about China. Hilary Clinton came out and said something but no one seemed to care. People will listen to Obama, not Clinton.

The Chinese are so oppressed there and people around the world don't seem to care. They're controlled and herded. Typical communist government. I'm waiting for the day when the Chinese people decide they've had enough. But I'm afraid it won't be pretty.

'So raise your fists and march around,
just don't take what you need.'

'I'll jail and bury those committed
and smother the rest in greed.'

'For it's the end of history.
It's caged and frozen still.'

'There is no other pill to take...'

'So swallow the one
that makes you ill.'

'The cost of my desire,
Sleep now in the fire.'

Don't bring me down, Bruce!

2009-06-04T18:05:00.008-04:00

Mo' Hammad? No Problem --

I applaud Mr. Obama for speaking to the Muslim world earlier today. Yes, a lot of it was peachy, happy, let's-all-hold-hands-ish, but it was still the smart thing to do. It makes Osama bin Laden look like even more of a jackass. And anything that makes him look like a jackass is fine in my book.

If you haven't read or seen the speech, I suggest doing it. It was one of Obama's best speeches to date. It was brilliant to quote the Qu'ran in his speech too. I'd like to see an Arabic leader come to the West and quote the Bible in our lifetime.

But I thought it was a great gesture. Israel needs to allow Palestine to return to the region. And Palestine needs to realize that Israel ain't going anywhere. It's a hunk of land. The world has its place for religion. But it does not have a place for religious fanaticism. And there's plenty to go around on every side.

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I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last night when I saw an advertisement for Bing. It was perhaps the only time I was inspired to look up what the heck it was. Turns out its a search engine that Microsoft recently started. And I love it. Bye, bye Yahoo!

I filled up my iPod Bruce to the brim yesterday, but I only made it to Meatloaf. I think I need more iPods.

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And finally, I wanted to share something I wrote a couple days ago. I put it on my other blog, but thought I'd roll it out here too. It kind of came out of nowhere. I plan on submitting it to Glimmer Train next month. But anyway, here it is:

When It Happened

I remember when at nine in the morning, a buddy of mine said there had been a plane crash. We had no idea. I showed up at my Spanish class a few minutes later. I think for the first time we were quiet. For the first time, we were silent.

The televisions were on in every classroom. This was one of those "When it happened, I was..." moments.

Then there was another plane crash. My Spanish teacher turned off the television and went to answer a telephone call. "Okay," she says, and hangs up. She looks at me. "Your dad is okay."

"What?"

I had forgotten my father was on a plane going to New York. Traveling businessmen are always here and there. Home and then gone. A meeting near Liberty and Church Street, New York, New York 10006. He instead went to New Jersey that morning to visit my grandmother. He could have looked in his rearview mirror. He could've seen it all, but he chose not to. He had the choice not to.

Civics. Test day. I will always remember what our teacher told us. "This is more important than any test I could ever give you." For an hour and a half we watched. The Pentagon. Pennsylvania. New York City. It didn't fall once. It fell over thirty times.

It fell over and over for weeks. Collapsing down to the street along with our sense of invincibility.

After classes, my mother and I had our typical talk. America the Beautiful. But I couldn't stop looking in the sky. I probably wouldn't look at those beautiful, white streaks in the cool September air the same way for a long, long time.

I wonder where it's going. I wonder who's in it.

I never knew where my father was off to. I saw him that afternoon outside the Pinehurst hotel. Rented a car. We embraced as if it was some dream sequence in a movie of someone who had passed away. Except he was right there. This isn't the end. That embrace lasted forever.

I always knew. And I felt safer.

When we got back to our condominium, it fell again and again. It just kept falling. There was no one there to stop it. In front of the television or not. It kept. MTV, Discovery, History. Bathroom, bedroom, dreams.

The next morning there were numbers. There was a mayor, heroes, and a suspect. There were classes and businesses were open. The Pinehurst hotel had a typical Wednesday morning. They came in, they went out.

We talked about it in Civics. We talked about in Spanish. In English. But there was no phone call. It was just okay. It was one of those "When it happened, I was..." moments. To be replayed over and over like the two towers that fell the morning before.

I'm on a plane with cocaine!

2009-06-03T08:42:00.010-04:00

Mis-Adventures in Yahoo! News --

Something Smart: Obama is going to Saudi Arabia and Egypt to address the Muslim world. It's putting Al-Qaida in an awkward spot because Obama is Mr. Smooth Talker and people like that. Booya.

Something Stupid: A document being sent from Barack Obama to Congress that listed civilian nuclear sites ended up on the internet. The list is considered confidential. Well... not any more. Oops!

The Eminem and Bruno skit at the VMAs was faked. I don't think anyone realy needed an entire article to figure that shit out. If they fooled you, go bash your face into a wall. You lose. Congratulations.

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I was thinking, do you think Obama gets lit up with cocaine on Air Force One? I tend to think so cause he's always looking so pale and droopy. I think that's where his inspiration comes from. Cocaine on a plane. Brilliant!

And why did anyone bother to see Snakes on a Plane. Everyone's already seen it. There are snakes on a freakin' plane. Thats it.

Barack Obama needs to be added to the Blogger dictionary. This blogger spellchecker keeps telling me Barack Obama is spelled wrong. Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, Grover, Polk, Jesus, Woodrow, Rutherford, Lyndon, Eisenhower. All correct. Barack Obama. Wrong. I think spellchecker may be on to something.

Apparently fuckhead is in the Blogger dictionary, too.

Beer Magazine says that America is the best beer producing nation in the world. I have to agree. That's not really a knock on other nations' beer. England, Germany, Denmark all produce some great beers, but America has variety like no other. Here, we have the best beers from those nations. And we also have Sam Adams. You're not gonna get variety overseas.

So I waited an entire day for the Salvation Army to pick up a desk I was donating. They never showed up. At least we have a real Army that can get shit done. The Army beats the Salvation Army. I called them and the automated message gave me some crap about miracles. Miracle my butt. My desk is still sitting by the doorway. That fucker magically disappearing? Now that's a miracle.

I heard the new Pearl Jam song "Got Some" on Conan O'Brien. Didn't like it. I might give it a couple more listens, maybe I just didn't enjoy it live.

I saw this on another blog (Love and Some Verses) and thought it was worth watching.

What is Marriage?

I will buy you a new life...

2009-06-02T08:02:00.007-04:00

Let's play the stock market, shall we?

Dreams: Sell
-- I don't like waking up after having a dream about Germans invading Charlotte. Err... I take that back, I like waking up from it. I just don't like dreaming about it.

That Hooker You Saw on Craigslist: Sell
-- I foresee crabs, bumps, and scabs. Or maybe a psychopath with a butcher knife. No buy.

Germans: Buy
-- My wife is of German descent. And I don't think they'll invade us any time soon, so go ahead. Buy a German. I hear they're lovely this time of year.

Queen: Buy
-- They chose not to tarnish their legacy by hiring an American Idol to fill the shoes of the greatest voice in rock and roll history. If you get a new singer, get a new name for the band. Remember kids, just say NO to American Idol.

Pixar: Buy
-- I hear their last movie 'Up' was good too. I think these people could animate a piece of crap floating in a toilet and it would still be worth everyone's time to see.

Oasis: Sell
-- "What?!" Yes, I said sell. Cause those shrimp bastards won't tour anywhere near Charlotte. When they do, I suppose they'll get some points back.

My Prospects for a Job-with-Benefits: Sell
-- What seemed like a "hell-yes" quickly became an "already filled." Son of a bitch.

Europeans: Buy
-- They make some good music. Cheers to the 20th century warmongers.

Glenn Beck: Sell
-- I kinda like the guy. I've seen his show, but he panics when it comes to every single news story. Not every talking point means the end of the world. Just some of them.

PTI: Buy
-- Glenn and the guys at Pardon the Interruption are both on at 5:00 PM. So instead of watching Glenn tell you how Cheerios will take over the world if we don't do anything, watch PTI. Kornheiser and Wilbon seemed like they freaking hate each other yesterday, too. Normally they go back and forth, but they were going 'no mercy' on each other last night. I like.

GM: Out of business
-- Whether its now or 10-15 years down the road, this company sucks. The government owns more than half of it now, so I really wouldn't buy anything from them. Not like people were buying anything from them before.

Your Local or State Representative: Sell
-- Democrat. Republican. They all suck. Elect Donald Duck.

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: Buy
-- The greatest two-hit wonder of all time. And I still have no idea what the hell Ska is supposed to be.

Speedbumps: Sell
-- Slow down, bump, and speed up. Worthless.

YouTube: Buy
-- I saw an interesting video my friend Justin (see his blog) from China sent me this morning. As if you didn't feel small enough already, here we go:

"Be weary of those who believe in a neat little world,
because its just fucking crazy, you know that it is."
- Dave Matthews "Eh Hee"

Like a hobo from a broken home, nothing's gonna stop me...

2009-06-01T07:57:00.006-04:00

I've had a Mindsay blog for the past 6 months, but The Powers That Be have decided to neglect updating anything. And I have a fear that I would go there and to find the internet version of the infamous "Blue Screen." So I'm here, be afraid.

I have a link where you can see all of my previous posts from Mindsay, if it still exists. This blog with be more or less the same. I like talking about American bullshit: politics, soft language, Hollywood, and other random crap. But I also have a curious obsession with music, mainly Led Zeppelin and Oasis. There are others, but I found myself referencing those two most often. So if you don't let Led Zeppelin, you'll find no love from me.

If you don't like Oasis, that's okay. My wife hates them. She's just wrong. (I'm just kidding, hun! You're right. I love you.) But yeah, Oasis rocks.

I like lists and random shit. If you can't handle swearing for comedic purposes, my love for George Carlin will definitely scare you away.

And before we begin, Happy Birthday to... Heidi Klum.

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Now that we have that settled. Let's get right down to business with a Blogger edition of EddieSki Recommends:

Yesterday, I saw a recipe for Corona Margarita. I haven't had it yet, but it looks freakin' sploogerific. Smoothness, meet Mexico. Mexico, smoothness.

I picked up possibly the greatest magazine in Target a couple weeks ago. Beer Magazine is like a hot teacher. Sexy, but its also worth your time to listen. You might learn something.

Led Zeppelin's How the West Was Won is simply the greatest live album ever. Makes me totally fucking jealous of everyone who was there to watch the greatest band that ever played. And the more I think about it, the more I think Led Zep shouldn't get back together. They had the greatest run of music ever. No need to get greedy. So, I don't recommend a Led Zep reunion.

I downloaded The Safety Dance for the first time a couple days ago. You know what to do. Yes.

I rarely see movies in the theater, but Star Trek was pretty much on the badass side of awesome. I'm no Trekkie either. It was basically Iron Man, but it an actual plot, and actual ending, and characters that actually change.

Losing. Cause some people don't know how to do it. And while your at it, teach your kid how to lose and let them keep score. It's not demeaning. Its important.

For those who don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, just do it. Its Dancing with the Stars, but with people who can actually dance. And it's on in the Fall, which is the best news since that plane landed in the Hudson.

Peanut Butter and Jelly are economical in these tough times. And its just as good as it was when you were a kid.

And once you eat some PJ&J, Play a game (any game) with a kid. You'll feel like a bloody rock god.

"Jack & Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Try to comprehend what he says about 2 minutes into the song. Now try not to laugh. Seriously.

I'd really like a job with benefits. If anything happens to me, minus getting in a car accident, I'm fucked. So if anything happens, all I can do is hope a car is involved. Substituting is great, but some freakin' insurance would be great.

"Right Round" by Flo-Rida is retarded, but fun. Rap still sucks, and this song is dirty as hell. But don't tell me that shit ain't catchy. You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down down. That being said, Katy Perry sounds like a fuckin' trash compactor. I can't stand her.

I have recommended going to your local public library before, but now most public library are fully equipped with a badass new trick: request-action. Yes, you now request music from any library in your county. It makes listening to it that much better. Its free, and it went on a journey to get to you.

Cheese. Wife made pasta salad last night. There's just nothing better than cheese.

We're going on a tour of the Sam Adams brewery in Boston. That's right. Be jealous. You bet your ass I'ma blog all about it.

Lebron didn't make it to the NBA Finals. So, I recommend not watching the NBA Finals (a.k.a. the world's longest game of H-O-R-S-E). Your time will be better spent eating cheese and listening to Led Zep.

Sexy dreams. You have no control. But other people do. And they're a lot better than spider dreams or naked-in-the-street dreams. Unless your into that sort of thing.

This one is for teachers only. Fart in class. Just do it. The students will blame each other. You win. Congratulations.

"The Gray" by Aaron Gwyn. I took his creative writing class at UNC Charlotte. Awesome story about a bar fight. Conflict? You betchya.

Lewis C.K.'s last stand-up on Comedy Central was a great laugh. His little sketch on why he hates deer was fucking great.

It's refreshing to take a break from the news every now and then. Leave Bill O'Rielly, Chris Matthews, and all those other people to themselves. I also recommend leaving your comfort zone to find someone who disagrees with you and listening for a while. You probably won't agree, but you might learn something.

Taco night. Olè.

The Wallflowers' Bringing Down The Horse is one of the best albums of the 90's. They haven't done anything else worth a damn, but that album is classic.

The Powers That Be at Facebook need to fix their website. Ever since people started recommending it to old people, it's been slow. Just like them. Way to go. I'm just kidding. I love old people, and I suggest you do the same.

For the sake of all dogs out there, let your dog out before you vacuum. I like messing with pets, but vacuuming with your dog in close proximity is just evil. Have you seen their faces? They look as if Satan himself were screaming at them.

Pocket torches. Just carry one around with you. If you find yourself getting angry or upset for whatever reason, bust out that pocket torch and press 'ignite'. The sound is sincerely satisfying.

When listening to music on radio or on the computer, insert your own words into a song. It will leave your partner confused. My favorite: Blinded by the light, revved loose like a douche. Convince them that those are the lyrics and you win. Congrats yet again.

Larry. You can't have him. He's mine. But you should name your next kid after him. Larry is the maintenance guy at our apartment complex. He can fix anything. He's like the black guy in Holes.

Sick of your every day cursing? Try "assbagger" around. See how you like it. But there's a no returns policy here.

Paying your taxes. At least they give some of it back.

When summer gets oh-my-fucking-god-I'm-gonna-die hot, put some ice in a blender. Blend it. Put some Sprite in it. And thank me later.

And for my final recommendation, I was bored last Thursday and I decided to check out what the European Billboard Charts were up to. Trying to branch out my music taste a little bit. And I saw the song "Like a Hobo" was #15 or something. So I checked out some of Charlie Winston's stuff and let me tell you, this shit is amazing. It's weird. But good. The video is even cooler than the song. "Generation Spent" is my song of the month, but there is no video for it... yet. He will hit America sooner or later. So here he is, boys and girls: Charlie Winston and the Oxymorons.

Aaaaand I'm spent.